I’ve been traveling for months now. No complications. I was halfway ready to believe I never had bipolar in the first place.
So when I hit the wall, I hit it hard.
I tried hiding it. I told my fellow travelers I had a “head cold” or that I hadn’t slept. And I told myself that some exercise or good food would have me back at 100% again in no time.
I lied. I am not better. Instead, I am experiencing a sobering reality check. I can’t leave the room. I can’t go to the beach. It’s all I can do to order food in – and I don’t look the delivery man in the eye.
And I think that’s one of the big problems with this condition. Sometimes I just don’t believe I have it. And then reality hits and I act surprised?!
I’m not lone I guess. I have heard stories from other bipolaroids. They might be on medication, and they stop taking it. Why? Because they felt normal. They thought they were “better” and didn’t need pills. But it’s the medication that helps them feel normal. And when it comes back, it hits hard – harder than before.
Is there some way to hit reset? To remember, every day, that I am this way, without feeling weird?
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