How do I muster the courage to ask someone for help. I’ve asked my parents 3 times and they denied me. Im almost positive I do have bipolar and I just want meds for it. I self medicate but I feel bad when I do it. I need to know how to get help without consequence. Thanks for taking the time to read this and maybe responding.
Hi Anon!
Okay so, it’s caveat time!
- Not a doctor
- No training or certification
- Life experience only
- Quality of life is the focus
Having family support for a mental illness can be a great boon if it is available. But it’s not always on the table. And make no mistake, that sucks. I feel you.
All is not lost though. There is a way to find the courage to take action. It involves using what I call “Second-Best Programming”.
This involves using quick-but-intense thought patterns to cut away the clutter and think in one direction at once.
To do this, look at each of the following in turn:
- What do you want, in terms of concrete, physical actions and outcomes?
- Why you want this object/action?
- What are the chances of getting it?
- How much you are willing to endure to get it?
- Is/are there an alternative course/s?
- How much do they cost you?
- Is this better in terms of input and outcome?
As a real basic example, say I want to get a slice of pizza?
I could go to the one which has a long line where the pizzas are decent and the prices average there is one CUTE AF SERVER. Or I could go to the place next door where the pizzas are the same, the price is the same, the line is short, but the server there is just not my type.
With the programming above, I can see that I want pizza, and I can do that either way, but I also want to go and try to woo the cute server.
The question for me is do I feel that the wooing worth the wait?
For you, dear Anon, there is a lot to analyse.
And yeah, the idea of sitting around trying to measure feels when all you want is ANSWERS and RELIEF is just a huge kick in the pants.
But it is worth your time.
You are worth your time.
In this case, Anon, i would suggest starting with the importance of having familial support.
- How much does it matter to you and why?
- How much will it cost you to get it?
- Is there an alternative to get access to the diagnostic services you require?
- Does this alternative require less effort?
- Is that less effort worth it?
If your analysis shows you that a good choice of action is to ask
someone for help – family or otherwise – then you have what you need!
Courage AND logic.
Go make it happen!
Another key point here is medication.
Medications are like sharp, broad tools that deal with
teeny tiny circuits. They need professional handling. They have side
effects. You do NOT want to be on the wrong meds.
And on self medication?
If it improves the quality of your life, then it’s viable – but don’t overdo it. This includes smashing eight coffees a day while on a high phase (take it from me this is a POOR CHOICE). Or doing shots of cheap whisky in bed to pass the time of a low phase. These things mess with you in ways you don’t expect. Don’t mess with meds until you have the guidance you need to get it right!
When it comes to the crux, it’s about the quality of life.
If getting a diagnosis right now is too hard, then don’t. Leave it until you’re in a better position to do so.
In the meantime look after yourself.
You want to get help without consequences?
Educate yourself on what is good for you. Steer clear of what isn’t. That includes people, environmental
stressors, foods, exercise, and more.
Get yourself as good as you can, then take the next step.