Tag: anon asks

What would you tell someone to do if they thought that they had bipolar disorder?

reversethebipolarities_oqhia1Leave a comment

What would you tell someone to do if they thought that they had bipolar disorder? Like what are the symptoms that prove this? I’m sorry if I sound so misinformed but I’m worried about a friend of mine and wanting to help them out. I’m confused about the whole bipolar disorder deal with manic episodes. ANY information or sources or basically anything would be very, very appreciated. Thanks! 🙂

Hi anon!

Caveats!

  • I’m not a doctor
  • content is based on experiences
  • quality of life is #1

The killer puppies over at Black Dog Institute have a super-handy PDF on the bipolar experience.
It’s not enough to actually diagnose someone, but it does help put
someones actions into a box you can label as “bipolar-like behaviours”.

Check it out, and if you have any questions, come hit me up.

In most cases I’ve come across, people with bipolarity get it diagnosed after a high or low phase that leaves them wondering if their experiences are normal.

This could be spending way too much money on international travel when you don’t have a job, or lying in bed drinking cheap booze from the bottle for months (while you don’t have a job).

Depression is easier to understand than hypomania. Depression is pain. The absence of emotional comfort or joy. It’s like living in a vacuum. No one enjoys it, so they are more likely to seek help

But hypomania can be like anti-depression. It can be like being high AF on LIFE ITSELF. Every choice you make is golden. In contrast to depression, you feel better than great. How could you possibly be sick?

But there’s another step here.

The first thing to note is “do you need to take action?”

Is your friend a danger to themselves? Does their behaviour endanger others? If so, then being pro-active may be a good option. You may not be popular for doing it though.

How to broach it? That’s a tough one. You could direct them to this blog, see if any of the experiences here ring a bell. OR you could pass them that PDF. Or you could sit down and be like “your behaviour is scaring me” and list out actual occurrences along with a commitment to help them out, should they wishto seek help.

I hope this is useful to you!

Heeey!! I rarely get the euphoria feeling in a manic episode.

reversethebipolarities_oqhia1Leave a comment

Heeey!! I rarely get the euphoria feeling in a manic episode , like the great fantastic everything is perfect part of it. I just feel like everything is buzzing and going very fast but I’m irritated and angry and lash out at people. Does anyone else get this too?

Hi anon!

You are most definitely 100% not alone!

Some people get pure highs full of energy and excitement. Others get excessively turned on, and yet others experience paranoia, a sense of impending crisis, irrational anger, or irritability.


These are normal experiences in the bipolar spectrum.

One theory on bipolarity is that it has to do with parts of the brain involving sleep, fight-or-flight mechanisms, and mood. I’m not a doctor, but I think this may be why all these elements can be involved in the bipolar experience.

It might also explain how you can also have mixed states where you get elements of both high and low states in the same episode.

They’re not always fun, but they are normal!

Mixed episode??

reversethebipolarities_oqhia1Leave a comment

Hi there, it is possible to have had a mixed episode despite not been diagnosed with any bipolar (or having mania/depression episodes before)??

Hi anon!

It is possible to experienced mixed episodes of bipolarity.

However, the diagnostic definition of bipolar disorder usually involves experiencing repeated and distinct highs and lows. Different professionals have different measures, but it is the distinct and repeating factor that matters.

Without these, it is difficult to say for certain just what you have experienced.

If you have several distinct high/low phases, or repeated episodes – mixed or not – you can raise this with your preferred healthcare professional.

They will help you work through your experiences to determine the cause.

I hope this helps, anon!

For the longest time I’ve feel that something was wrong with me. Ive always have a quick irritation moods that vanish suddenly, I’d wake up and feel great and suddenly something little would happen and my week would be fucked… I thought it was me. This past week was hell. Like literal hell. Crying and laughing, not wanting to leave the bed then feeling amazing… I don’t want to self diagnose, but I really think I might have some kind of bipolarism because I feel like a mess 1/2

reversethebipolarities_oqhia1Leave a comment

2/2
I’m always screaming at people when I don’t want too, people think I’m
rude but I really can’t help it. I cry for no reasons, I’m tired all the
time, I’ve thought of killing myself… I’m tired of being like this,
soon I’ll go to a therapist and hopefully fix myself, because I can’t
keep on living like this. This week I’ve seriously considered jumping to
the train rails.
       
  

Hi anon,

It sounds like you’re doing it rough, and I congratulate you on taking positive action in response.

First, the caveats:

  • I’m no doctor and have no training
  • I do want what’s best for you
  • This is all just opinion backed by experience
  • I’m not a substitute for what you should do
  • Professional help always trumps what I say

It’s true that strong or heavy feels do characterise bipolarity. The feels we get can be overwhelming and compel us to act. And not acting on them feels like hell because what else are you meant to do with them?

It’s also true that some flavours of bipolarity (such as cyclothymia) do express themselves with fast, intense cycles.

These sensations can stem from a range of mental illnesses – not just bipolar. They can also come from chemical imbalances, thyroid conditions, medications and dietary issues.

If your condition is serious enough to give you suicidal ideation, then it is 100% time to start the process of diagnosis.

You’re right to be cautious of self-diagnosis, as that can lead you to take actions athat don’t bring you closer to an increase in the quality of life.

After all, that’s what we want here, right? To feel better?

So please,take this as a sign from a human who is concerned for your wellbeing – book an appointment with a healthcare professional, and start mapping out what is going on so you can start managing it. You’re the only one who can do this. and you deserve the chance to thrive. So make it happen!

And this goes for anyone else reading this response – you do not have to wait until you are “sick enough” to reach out.

The worst that happens is that you find out that you are going to be okay.

Anon Asks

reversethebipolarities_oqhia1Leave a comment

Hi! I have a question regarding bipolar disorder.
My partner has been diagnosed with depression for years now but the antidepressants don’t really help them, and recently I’ve mentioned that it might be bipolar disorder. They mentioned that they did have an older relative who did have bipolar so there is that familial connection there. So now they think they have bipolar as well but hasn’t gone in to get it diagnosed yet. Their depressive states are usually pretty bad though (what I think would be considered their more manic state isn’t really that what I guess is stereotypical hypomania and all? They just seems a lot happier and more productive and all). It just seems like bipolar bc of the sudden changes tho imo, because they’ll be fine for a few days then fall into a depression slum for weeks. I guess I really want to ask if there’s something that is helpful that I can do when they’re depressed? I do my best to be supportive and help however I can but sometimes their actions have me scared and worried and I just wasn’t sure if you had any advice?

I really hope you have a nice day too btw!

Hi anon!

The tricky thing with mental health, as you’ve experienced, is that there is very little you can do without a diagnosis.

And depression can come from a number of different sources, with bipolar being just one. The important thing is to focus on the management of symptoms. So let’s put the idea of it being bipolarity aside and instead focus on the effectiveness of their current management.

Without knowing them, and just going on what you have described, it sounds like this could be unipolar depression.

I say this because with bipolarity, the problem with antidepressants is that they work a little too well. They send people off into hypomanic or manic episodes. With unipolar depression, the episodes can happen suddenly and without cause – one day you wake up and just everything is flat and flavourless, sometimes for months.

To get to the bottom of it, your partner needs professional medical assistance. If their meds aren’t working well, it could be due to a range of factors. Talking very generally (I’m not a doctor, after all) some meds work by building up a certain level of chemicals in the brain by blocking their reabsorbtion, other by slowing their production. These ones take time to deliver results. Other meds, people can build up a resistance to them over time, so the dosage needs changing, or a prescription needs altering. If their depression has a base in experience and/or circumstances, then there is a chance that talking therapies and CBT or mindfulness exercises may be useful in giving them a degree of control. Again, medical professionals need to do the heavy lifting on this to figure out the best way forward.

Now the big question – what can you do about it?

Nothing.

Not directly. When it comes to a partner’s mental health, you’re firmly in the passenger seat. Riding shotgun. You’re along for the ride, but you’re not in control.

This isn’t always easy to keep in mind, but the fact is that it’s not your mind. There is no way that you can experience what they are experiencing, and very little that you can do to influence it.

With mental health, Rule #1 is to always look after number one. And that applies to you too.

The best thing you can do is to be your best self. Like you would in any relationship. Perhaps the most helpful suggestion I have is to avoid the logic-trap of “well I did these things so I helped and now you are better … wait why aren’t you better?” I have seen this in action, and it destroys marriages, jobs, relationships of all kinds.

Trust in Rule #1.

Do what you can, when you can. Place no expectations on them and keep none on yourself. Provide support where it’s needed and welcomed. Hold space when they (or you!) needs distance.

What form these actions take is up to you two – you need to work out what it looks like together.

I hope this helps!

How do I muster the courage to ask someone for help?

reversethebipolarities_oqhia1Leave a comment

How do I muster the courage to ask someone for help. I’ve asked my parents 3 times and they denied me. Im almost positive I do have bipolar and I just want meds for it. I self medicate but I feel bad when I do it. I need to know how to get help without consequence. Thanks for taking the time to read this and maybe responding.

Hi Anon!

Okay so, it’s caveat time!

  • Not a doctor
  • No training or certification
  • Life experience only
  • Quality of life is the focus

Having family support for a mental illness can be a great boon if it is available. But it’s not always on the table. And make no mistake, that sucks. I feel you.

All is not lost though. There is a way to find the courage to take action. It involves using what I call “Second-Best Programming”.

This involves using quick-but-intense thought patterns to cut away the clutter and think in one direction at once.

To do this, look at each of the following in turn:

  1. What do you want, in terms of concrete, physical actions and outcomes?
  2. Why you want this object/action?
  3. What are the chances of getting it?
  4. How much you are willing to endure to get it?
  5. Is/are there an alternative course/s?
  6. How much do they cost you?
  7. Is this better in terms of input and outcome?

As a real basic example, say I want to get a slice of pizza?

I could go to the one which has a long line where the pizzas are decent and the prices average there is one CUTE AF SERVER. Or I could go to the place next door where the pizzas are the same, the price is the same, the line is short, but the server there is just not my type.

With the programming above, I can see that I want pizza, and I can do that either way, but I also want to go and try to woo the cute server.

The question for me is do I feel that the wooing worth the wait?


For you, dear Anon, there is a lot to analyse.

And yeah, the idea of sitting around trying to measure feels when all you want is ANSWERS and RELIEF is just a huge kick in the pants.

But it is worth your time.

You are worth your time.

In this case, Anon, i would suggest starting with the importance of having familial support.

  • How much does it matter to you and why?
  • How much will it cost you to get it?
  • Is there an alternative to get access to the diagnostic services you require?
  • Does this alternative require less effort?
  • Is that less effort worth it?

If your analysis shows you that a good choice of action is to ask
someone for help – family or otherwise – then you have what you need!

Courage AND logic.

Go make it happen!

Another key point here is medication.

Medications are like sharp, broad tools that deal with
teeny tiny circuits. They need professional handling. They have side
effects. You do NOT want to be on the wrong meds.

And on self medication?

If it improves the quality of your life, then it’s viable – but don’t overdo it. This includes smashing eight coffees a day while on a high phase (take it from me this is a POOR CHOICE). Or doing shots of cheap whisky in bed to pass the time of a low phase. These things mess with you in ways you don’t expect. Don’t mess with meds until you have the guidance you need to get it right!

When it comes to the crux, it’s about the quality of life.

If getting a diagnosis right now is too hard, then don’t. Leave it until you’re in a better position to do so.

In the meantime look after yourself.

You want to get help without consequences?
Educate yourself on what is good for you. Steer clear of what isn’t. That includes people, environmental
stressors, foods, exercise, and more.

Get yourself as good as you can, then take the next step.

Hey, I’m 99% sure I have bipolar disorder. And I don’t know how to ask for help I am not close to any of my family members tbh and I just don’t feel comfortable talking to them about it. And they are so hurtful and rude to me I know they don’t understand what’s wrong with me but still. They say I’m acting “crazy” and I just feel so alone in this. So, my question is how do you deal with Being bipolar? and how did you ask for help? I’m underage as well so it’s ten times harder to ask for help:(

reversethebipolarities_oqhia1Leave a comment

Hi Anon!

Yeah that’s a tough one alright!

Okay, so the usual caveats:

  • I’m no doctor/licensed professional
  • I don’t know you or your family situation
  • I don’t even know your country
  • Only suggestions I can give are from experience
  • Rule #1: look after number one

But first, I gotta say this to you.

You are not alone.

And to everyone else out there with a mental illness.

Diagnosed or not, you are not alone.

I know how it feels to be unsupported. You may be surrounded by people who don’t get it. Who don’t understand why you work the way you work. And being understood feels impossible. Because how can anyone know what you are experiencing without crawling inside your skull?

They can’t. No one can.

But we don’t have to.

You are not alone. Because, diagnosis or not, others have been where you are and come through it.

And we’re here to help.

Support groups exist for a reason.

And making use of them is a sign of strength.

We’re on your team.

You are strong enough to know when you need a hand, and you are strong enough to reach out for it.

Anon, you have already taken this first step by reaching out to me in this blog. That shows you have what it takes. If you can do this, you can go the distance.

Now, how do I deal with being bipolar?

I focus on my sense of ownership. I don’t control my feelings 100% of the time, sure. No one does.

But I am 100% responsible for how I react.

Depression is often considered the hard bit. And it has it’s dangers. But I have more difficulty with the high phases.

With depression, it is clear that I am “unwell”. And I’m usually lethargic AF. I stay in one place and feed myself and keep clean and just wait for it to be over. If anyone asks and I don’t fee like explaining it, I say I have a migraine. Zero damage.

But if I’m hypomanic I don’t feel “sick”. I feel great! I can do anything!! LET’S GO TO INDIA!!!

And it’s this feeling great that has me ignoring the red flags in my behaviour.

So instead of stopping the energetic behaviour, I redirect it before it goes too far.

Cleaning. Writing. New creative projects. I make cool plans that might be the best plans ever, but are also totally cool if they never happen. And I make it hard to spend money on impulse purchases by freezing my bank cards in blocks of ice.

These activities help divert my energy into harmless (and sometimes productive) channels until the episode subsides. And hey, if one of the side projects goes somewhere, great!

When I’m feeling off, I avoid sugar, alcohol, and caffeine, as these can impact on quality of sleep (which matters massively for mental health). I avoid all recreational drugs as well. I mean,
I don’t take them anyway, but I feel it’s worth saying.

Otherwise, I try to be as healthy as I can. I eat good food and lots of it. I work out three times a week.
I sleep for eight hours a night.

And I get out in the sunlight for ten minutes a day, whenever possible.

This stuff is boring and uncool and sometimes I hate my choice to be this healthy. But in reality it’s not that hard a choice. The truth is this – I can binge and be lazy and feel like shit, or I can suck it up, take ownership of my health, and have a great life.

I’m not perfect. I still act out and do unhelpful things. But these choices help me manage my reactions. And I’m glad I have the circumstances that let me make them

Now, how to ask for help?

That’s also tough.

I was diagnosed as an adult, which is a bit rare these days. But I know others who approached their families for help first.

Here’s their suggestions.

  1. Think about your ideal outcome. Is it a diagnosis? Getting support directly from family and friends? Really focus on the practical elements you want, and why you want them.
  2. Figure out which elements are the most likely to help you.
  3. Figure out which outcomes are most likely to work out the way you want them to in the long term.

If you’re in a position to request help from family, it may ease the process to perform a little creative framing.

You
say that they feel you are “ acting ‘crazy’”. It may help to own this.

You could say: “Yes, you are right. This behaviour feels out of character to me.
I am aware of it, and I understand your concern.

I would like to explore my options. Will you help me?”

Then if they are open to it, talk through your possible options. Make a point of including professional diagnosis, if that’s what you want. Or explain that you want to put mechanisms in place that limit any negative outcomes, while giving you space to regain control.

Whatever you are after, the aim is to take away their focus on you and your “behaviour” and how it makes them feel. And instead refocus their attention on solving a problem. All by giving them the opportunity to feel good by helping you.

Does this make sense?

Now I understand that not everyone is in a position where their family will respond the way they want. If you think they might? Then go for it. But if you think they won’t, rule number one comes into play.

Rule number one is “always look out for number one”.

Look after yourself first. Not in a selfish way. Not to the deliberate detriment of others. In this case, it may be a viable option to do your own research. Find strategies that work for you. Grow your understanding.

You may also choose to wait. If you feel that the support is not there, or you might make things worse for yourself, then this is a valid option. Look after yourself the best you can. And wait until you are in a position, or old enough, to get the help you need to improve your quality of life.

Regardless of what you choose, remember that you matter. And you are not alone

I hope this helps!

And if you need an outlet, suggestions, some real-talk on management strategy or whatever, you know where to find me.

Hey so I run this somewhat popular blog (I get a lot of asks is all) and I started the blog at a really good point, but now it’s getting hard to answer all of them in a consistent mood…. And I feel really bad about it. Should they know? I’m not sure how to approach this over the internet.

reversethebipolarities_oqhia1Leave a comment

Thanks Anon!

I take it that you’re involved in blogging about mental health?

If not, that’s cool. These suggestions may still apply.

As usual, the caveats are:

  • I’m not a pro at anything forever
  • Your quality of life should be your #1 concern
  • any suggestions and observations are mine own

With that out of the way, lets think about how you got where you are, probably.

You put a lot of time and effort into making posts that you think your followers will value. And the respond in kind by trusting you enough to ask questions.

It feels good to help out. And if you’re in a good space, you have the emotional capacity and free time to help put, why not?

But you can’t pour from an empty jug.

If you’re finding you don’t have the reserves to give your followers the  responses they need, let them know.

Take a break. Turn off your asks. Communicate the reasons for doing so. Tell them your action plan. Give them a (realistic) timeline.

If you think you need a week, take two weeks. Or a month. That gives you the breathing space to investigate your enthusiasm and really focus on recharging your batteries. And all without the pressure of a looming deadline.

Plus, if you feel yourself get good in the meantime, you can surprise and delight your followers by coming back early.

Does that make sense, Anon?

Please feel free to let me know how you proceed!