Category: Letters

What would you tell someone to do if they thought that they had bipolar disorder?

reversethebipolarities_oqhia1Leave a comment

What would you tell someone to do if they thought that they had bipolar disorder? Like what are the symptoms that prove this? I’m sorry if I sound so misinformed but I’m worried about a friend of mine and wanting to help them out. I’m confused about the whole bipolar disorder deal with manic episodes. ANY information or sources or basically anything would be very, very appreciated. Thanks! 🙂

Hi anon!

Caveats!

  • I’m not a doctor
  • content is based on experiences
  • quality of life is #1

The killer puppies over at Black Dog Institute have a super-handy PDF on the bipolar experience.
It’s not enough to actually diagnose someone, but it does help put
someones actions into a box you can label as “bipolar-like behaviours”.

Check it out, and if you have any questions, come hit me up.

In most cases I’ve come across, people with bipolarity get it diagnosed after a high or low phase that leaves them wondering if their experiences are normal.

This could be spending way too much money on international travel when you don’t have a job, or lying in bed drinking cheap booze from the bottle for months (while you don’t have a job).

Depression is easier to understand than hypomania. Depression is pain. The absence of emotional comfort or joy. It’s like living in a vacuum. No one enjoys it, so they are more likely to seek help

But hypomania can be like anti-depression. It can be like being high AF on LIFE ITSELF. Every choice you make is golden. In contrast to depression, you feel better than great. How could you possibly be sick?

But there’s another step here.

The first thing to note is “do you need to take action?”

Is your friend a danger to themselves? Does their behaviour endanger others? If so, then being pro-active may be a good option. You may not be popular for doing it though.

How to broach it? That’s a tough one. You could direct them to this blog, see if any of the experiences here ring a bell. OR you could pass them that PDF. Or you could sit down and be like “your behaviour is scaring me” and list out actual occurrences along with a commitment to help them out, should they wishto seek help.

I hope this is useful to you!

Heeey!! I rarely get the euphoria feeling in a manic episode.

reversethebipolarities_oqhia1Leave a comment

Heeey!! I rarely get the euphoria feeling in a manic episode , like the great fantastic everything is perfect part of it. I just feel like everything is buzzing and going very fast but I’m irritated and angry and lash out at people. Does anyone else get this too?

Hi anon!

You are most definitely 100% not alone!

Some people get pure highs full of energy and excitement. Others get excessively turned on, and yet others experience paranoia, a sense of impending crisis, irrational anger, or irritability.


These are normal experiences in the bipolar spectrum.

One theory on bipolarity is that it has to do with parts of the brain involving sleep, fight-or-flight mechanisms, and mood. I’m not a doctor, but I think this may be why all these elements can be involved in the bipolar experience.

It might also explain how you can also have mixed states where you get elements of both high and low states in the same episode.

They’re not always fun, but they are normal!

Mixed episode??

reversethebipolarities_oqhia1Leave a comment

Hi there, it is possible to have had a mixed episode despite not been diagnosed with any bipolar (or having mania/depression episodes before)??

Hi anon!

It is possible to experienced mixed episodes of bipolarity.

However, the diagnostic definition of bipolar disorder usually involves experiencing repeated and distinct highs and lows. Different professionals have different measures, but it is the distinct and repeating factor that matters.

Without these, it is difficult to say for certain just what you have experienced.

If you have several distinct high/low phases, or repeated episodes – mixed or not – you can raise this with your preferred healthcare professional.

They will help you work through your experiences to determine the cause.

I hope this helps, anon!

Addictive Personalities

reversethebipolarities_oqhia1Leave a comment

people with addictive personality and historic of addiction (like on cigarettes, alcohol and drugs) are more probable of having Bipolar, or is it the Bipolar that kinda are prone to addictive behavior?

That’s a tough call, anon.

Compulsive behaviour is part of my bipolar experience.

I know I feel a need for nicotine, caffeine, alcohol, and sex when I’m experiencing a high or a low phase.

It’s almost like a displacement activity.

Instead of “I’m sad and I don’t know why” it becomes “I’m sad because I drank too much” or “my heart is racing for no damn reason” it’s “my heart is racing because I smashed three espressos”.

I feel that addiction has less to do with repeated exposure and more to do with a sense of emptiness, or a lack of connection.

Being bipolar gives me both compulsion and emptiness on a regular basis.

So I live clean.

I’m as close to straight edge as I ever want to get, and I like it like this.

I’m underage and idk

reversethebipolarities_oqhia1Leave a comment

I’ve always my diagnosis might be that I’m bipolar II for a number of reasons but I’m underage and idk if my doctor is waiting for me to be out of age. What I know is that I was diagnosed with major depression back in 2014 and more recently with ADHD. What sparked my interest is that I take this pill for my migraines and my doctor forgot to prescribe me them, so I had to mark an appointment. She knows I’ve been taking this medication for about 2 years now for migraines but she said: “Good thing that you mentioned that I forgot. This one is for the migraines and bipolar.” While I know that various medications can be for
many things, idk why she said that knowing that I’m aware that I take
it for migraines and have been for the past year. And I also take
Lithium, low dosage, but idk I think that she might think I have this
diagnosis too. How can I approach the subject? or do I wait to have a
hypo/manic episode?

Good question, anon!

I’d start by asking them outright.

Doctors are medical professionals.

In my experience doctors are more than happy to go through the logic and reasoning behind a diagnosis.

Let’s be real – diagnosis is pretty much 50% of their job.
So they aren’t likely to hold back on explaining their reasoning to you, their patient, no matter how old you are.

If you feel that you are experiencing symptoms of a flavour of bipolar disorder – or any mental health issue for that matter – then speak up about it. And if anything changes, let them know.

With mental health, the professionals can only act with the information you give them.

So make sure it’s complete!

Anon Asks

reversethebipolarities_oqhia1Leave a comment

Hi! I have a question regarding bipolar disorder.
My partner has been diagnosed with depression for years now but the antidepressants don’t really help them, and recently I’ve mentioned that it might be bipolar disorder. They mentioned that they did have an older relative who did have bipolar so there is that familial connection there. So now they think they have bipolar as well but hasn’t gone in to get it diagnosed yet. Their depressive states are usually pretty bad though (what I think would be considered their more manic state isn’t really that what I guess is stereotypical hypomania and all? They just seems a lot happier and more productive and all). It just seems like bipolar bc of the sudden changes tho imo, because they’ll be fine for a few days then fall into a depression slum for weeks. I guess I really want to ask if there’s something that is helpful that I can do when they’re depressed? I do my best to be supportive and help however I can but sometimes their actions have me scared and worried and I just wasn’t sure if you had any advice?

I really hope you have a nice day too btw!

Hi anon!

The tricky thing with mental health, as you’ve experienced, is that there is very little you can do without a diagnosis.

And depression can come from a number of different sources, with bipolar being just one. The important thing is to focus on the management of symptoms. So let’s put the idea of it being bipolarity aside and instead focus on the effectiveness of their current management.

Without knowing them, and just going on what you have described, it sounds like this could be unipolar depression.

I say this because with bipolarity, the problem with antidepressants is that they work a little too well. They send people off into hypomanic or manic episodes. With unipolar depression, the episodes can happen suddenly and without cause – one day you wake up and just everything is flat and flavourless, sometimes for months.

To get to the bottom of it, your partner needs professional medical assistance. If their meds aren’t working well, it could be due to a range of factors. Talking very generally (I’m not a doctor, after all) some meds work by building up a certain level of chemicals in the brain by blocking their reabsorbtion, other by slowing their production. These ones take time to deliver results. Other meds, people can build up a resistance to them over time, so the dosage needs changing, or a prescription needs altering. If their depression has a base in experience and/or circumstances, then there is a chance that talking therapies and CBT or mindfulness exercises may be useful in giving them a degree of control. Again, medical professionals need to do the heavy lifting on this to figure out the best way forward.

Now the big question – what can you do about it?

Nothing.

Not directly. When it comes to a partner’s mental health, you’re firmly in the passenger seat. Riding shotgun. You’re along for the ride, but you’re not in control.

This isn’t always easy to keep in mind, but the fact is that it’s not your mind. There is no way that you can experience what they are experiencing, and very little that you can do to influence it.

With mental health, Rule #1 is to always look after number one. And that applies to you too.

The best thing you can do is to be your best self. Like you would in any relationship. Perhaps the most helpful suggestion I have is to avoid the logic-trap of “well I did these things so I helped and now you are better … wait why aren’t you better?” I have seen this in action, and it destroys marriages, jobs, relationships of all kinds.

Trust in Rule #1.

Do what you can, when you can. Place no expectations on them and keep none on yourself. Provide support where it’s needed and welcomed. Hold space when they (or you!) needs distance.

What form these actions take is up to you two – you need to work out what it looks like together.

I hope this helps!

How do I muster the courage to ask someone for help?

reversethebipolarities_oqhia1Leave a comment

How do I muster the courage to ask someone for help. I’ve asked my parents 3 times and they denied me. Im almost positive I do have bipolar and I just want meds for it. I self medicate but I feel bad when I do it. I need to know how to get help without consequence. Thanks for taking the time to read this and maybe responding.

Hi Anon!

Okay so, it’s caveat time!

  • Not a doctor
  • No training or certification
  • Life experience only
  • Quality of life is the focus

Having family support for a mental illness can be a great boon if it is available. But it’s not always on the table. And make no mistake, that sucks. I feel you.

All is not lost though. There is a way to find the courage to take action. It involves using what I call “Second-Best Programming”.

This involves using quick-but-intense thought patterns to cut away the clutter and think in one direction at once.

To do this, look at each of the following in turn:

  1. What do you want, in terms of concrete, physical actions and outcomes?
  2. Why you want this object/action?
  3. What are the chances of getting it?
  4. How much you are willing to endure to get it?
  5. Is/are there an alternative course/s?
  6. How much do they cost you?
  7. Is this better in terms of input and outcome?

As a real basic example, say I want to get a slice of pizza?

I could go to the one which has a long line where the pizzas are decent and the prices average there is one CUTE AF SERVER. Or I could go to the place next door where the pizzas are the same, the price is the same, the line is short, but the server there is just not my type.

With the programming above, I can see that I want pizza, and I can do that either way, but I also want to go and try to woo the cute server.

The question for me is do I feel that the wooing worth the wait?


For you, dear Anon, there is a lot to analyse.

And yeah, the idea of sitting around trying to measure feels when all you want is ANSWERS and RELIEF is just a huge kick in the pants.

But it is worth your time.

You are worth your time.

In this case, Anon, i would suggest starting with the importance of having familial support.

  • How much does it matter to you and why?
  • How much will it cost you to get it?
  • Is there an alternative to get access to the diagnostic services you require?
  • Does this alternative require less effort?
  • Is that less effort worth it?

If your analysis shows you that a good choice of action is to ask
someone for help – family or otherwise – then you have what you need!

Courage AND logic.

Go make it happen!

Another key point here is medication.

Medications are like sharp, broad tools that deal with
teeny tiny circuits. They need professional handling. They have side
effects. You do NOT want to be on the wrong meds.

And on self medication?

If it improves the quality of your life, then it’s viable – but don’t overdo it. This includes smashing eight coffees a day while on a high phase (take it from me this is a POOR CHOICE). Or doing shots of cheap whisky in bed to pass the time of a low phase. These things mess with you in ways you don’t expect. Don’t mess with meds until you have the guidance you need to get it right!

When it comes to the crux, it’s about the quality of life.

If getting a diagnosis right now is too hard, then don’t. Leave it until you’re in a better position to do so.

In the meantime look after yourself.

You want to get help without consequences?
Educate yourself on what is good for you. Steer clear of what isn’t. That includes people, environmental
stressors, foods, exercise, and more.

Get yourself as good as you can, then take the next step.

I’ve been living with two mental illnesses

reversethebipolarities_oqhia1Leave a comment

So, I’ve been living with two mental illnesses since… Well, I don’t remember: bipolar disorder and EDNOS (I think, I am not diagnosed) and when I’m in a depressive episode, I begin to not eating, to restrict and doing exercises and following the Anorexia part. But then the maniac episode comes and I start eating, likely bingeing and eating without control, because so much anxiety is passing through my veins and all of that. And I think this is not that bad to seek help. Maybe I’m overreacting.

Hi Anon!

Thanks for writing in!

Now I hope you’re sitting down because
it’s time for THE CAVEATS! (hooray!):

  • not a doctor
  • not qualified for anything, ever
  • suggestions come from own experience
  • the quality of your life should be your
    NUMBER ONE focus

First up, I would like to
address this sentiment about not being “bad” enough to seek help.

There is no universal quantifier of how
“bad” something is before you need assistance.

No one decent will
judge you or say you are not “worth” it. And if they do, they are
fuckers who aren’t worth your time

Kick them to the curb.

Besides Anon, you’re already seeking
help. You’re asking me. A stranger on the internet. It’s clear that this is a thing that concerns
you. Now, if I see that someone is moved enough to ask for help, I say that they deserve the help.

The shape that help comes in depends
on your circumstances.

What you’re comfortable with, what you can
afford, etc. At the minimum, I would suggest reading up on healthy
coping mechanisms for the anorexia element. Maybe contacting a support group, or
reaching out to people you know and trust for support.

Now, I have limited experience with
EDNOS. So I can only make suggestions based on what I know works for
me.

When I am hypomanic, I will eat all
day. I love tastes and sensations. But I remind
myself that quality beats quantity. And I use my
greed for experience to trump my greed for volume.
The result is that I enjoy a good range of top-notch treats. And avoid binging solely on corn chips and sour cream.

Most of the time.

I also engage in
a healthy amount of exercise. I
use the extra energy from being hypo (and the nutrients from all my sampling) to hit the gym. But not for long. My hypomanic mind
usually gets bored after an hour and wants to do something else.

When I am depressed, I find food a
chore. There’s not much joy to it. And it’s hard to make myself eat. But there are two things I try to rely on in
these phases.

One is my support network. I get family
and friends to come around. We’ll watch a crappy movie. And order a pizza.

The other is my lack of emotional
capacity. In the absence of feelings, I rely on logic. The logic goes that If everything feels like work, then I should focus on work that is important. And the most important work is keeping me functional. Not trying to be happy, or trying to get better. But staying as capable as I can. So I will feed myself healthy
things. Because otherwise when the feelings come
back I will be worse off. This is not
always 100% successful. Because my depression can be sneaky and tell
me that I’m not important.

But it works well enough.

So, in summary:

  • you don’t need to be “bad” to
    get help
  • try to not beat yourself up for
    behaviours you experience during high/low phases
  • instead think about the reasoning behind the unhealthy behaviours and notice where they are flawed
  • a professional diagnosis can
    make a world of difference because it gives you labels you can use to identify and manage  these behaviours
  • research and practice healthy coping
    mechanisms that work for you
  • if you have a support network of people
    who love you, reach out as needed

Please let me know if there’s anything else I can do to help. And feel free to reach out and tell me how you’re doing!