Author: reversethebipolarities_oqhia1

I’ve tried antidepressants for suppose depression that ive delt with over the past 2 years after my friend was killed. They made me manic within 48 hrs. Long story short, I went through a few meds and am now taking lithium twice a day.. this all has been happening within 3 months. I have not been diagnosed as bipolar tho .. does this ever happen? Will I be diagnosed once stable? This is so frustrating and I could really use some advice. Thanks so much!!

reversethebipolarities_oqhia1Leave a comment

Sounds like a rough ride, anon.

The usual caveats apply:

  • not a real doctor
  • each person is different
  • my experience only
  • it’s about quality of life

My bipolar diagnosis gives me a neat little box for me to put my
symptoms.

Any mental health issues of mine that don’t fit into the
box then need to be assessed and managed separately.

If you are given medication for depression, and the medication causes
you to experience mania or hypomania, this does not necessarily mean
you have a flavour of bipolarity. Bipolar is diagnosed when a person
experiences at least one high phase and one low phase. And without
wanting to tread on any medical toes, I think these episodes are
counted only if there isn’t something else present in your
circumstances (such as antidepressants) that could have an impact on
these experiences.

Yes, being bipolar and going on some antidepressants for treatment
of depression can cause mania or hypomania, But let’s not give in to
a cross-correlation. There may be other factors at play.

Assuming you
have not received a diagnosis of bipolarty, the lithium may be your
doctor’s choice because it caps depression, but does not trigger
manic episodes like the antidepressants you were given earlier.

So what is it?

In your shoes, I would ask what the diagnosis is. But I wouldn’t be upset for you if it’s depression. Some depression is treatable. You could be free of it over time. And that’s something to hope for.

Remember what matters.

The way I see it, If the lithium is working in managing your
symptoms, the side effects are okay, and you feel the quality of life
is good, then hey! Good work all round!

But.

If your quality of life is
slipping, then talk with your doctor about possible alternate causes.
And also other management options.

Look after yourself first!

Scholarships

reversethebipolarities_oqhia1Leave a comment

ANON ASKS:
“Hi, what’s the right way to talk about my bipolar in a scholarship application? I don’t want to give too many details and get judged. But I think it could help my chances of getting a scholarship.”

Where I live most college and university studies are paid for by government loans. Scholarships are not that common.

However, I do know what it is like being judged for having a mental illness. And I have written a fair few applications for professional positions.

So let’s break it down.

You are in charge of who knows what.

For me, I prefer to
inform the people who need to know (bosses, partners, family members,
teachers, medical professions etc) as they are part of my safety net.

And if it comes up in conversation, then I’ll talk freely about my
experiences and answer whatever questions come up.

It is best to know what you have to disclose up
front.

If you have to list pre-existing conditions, having bipolar or a
related illness qualifies. Be sure you include it. In my mind, it would
suck more to have to pay back a scholarship than to not receive it in
the first place.

Now, your application.

You can apply for a scholarship and not mention you have
bipolar.

it doesn’t need to impact on your essay in any way.

Instead, just write to
your strengths.

You are trying to give the scholarship board both personal and professional reasons
to give you fat stacks of cash. Focus on making the scholarship board members look like
far-sighted pillars of the community. The kind that get lauded for
giving an outstanding student (you) the best possible chance of success.

Make them look good and they’ll get on
board.


You can also attempt to use the fact that you have bipolar to build your
case for a scholarship.

I would try to frame my management efforts as a
personal journey. I would talk up my accomplishments. Showcase my
ability to maintain productivity. And highlight my attempts to minimise
any interruptions to my educational progression.

It’s about proving that you are in a good place mentally.

That you have
the support you need. And that you are consistent in learning more about
and managing your condition. Do this and you might gain the attention
of a progressive scholarship committee.

That being said, I wouldn’t rely on it as the secret weapon that wins a
scholarship. Because it won’t. Instead it’s more of a secret sauce that spices up my accomplishments,
and frames my actions with relatable context.

Tea-totaling

reversethebipolarities_oqhia1Leave a comment

In some cultures, it’s seen as weird if you don’t take drugs.

My grandmother used to say that you shouldn’t trust a man who doesn’t drink beer.

A coworker would say they didn’t like working with people who drank tea instead of coffee.

Can you imagine what that would be like if we switched culturally-accepted drugs with mental health practices?

“Never trust a man who doesn’t meditate.”

“I hate working with people who don’t follow their prescribed medication regimen.”

“I’m more of a professionally-managed-medical-regimen kinda guy.”

“It’s unpatriotic to not sleep 8 hours a day, exercise regularly and eat real food.”

Can you imagine?

+++++

[shirt]

It ain’t about you.

reversethebipolarities_oqhia1Leave a comment

There is one key element I’ve seen that helps relationships last when one of you has a mental illness.

It’s the same thing that helps keep neuro-normal partners together as well.

(Neruo-normal is such a fun word to say!)

It’s called understanding.

With bipolarity and cyclothymia, my episodes and depressions are rarely, if ever, about my partner. They may be involved due to circumstance, location or because they’re the only person in shouting distance/who is willing to give me a hug. But this interaction is not entirely triggered by, nor aimed entirely at, them.

This interaction, whatever it is, is more about chemicals and neural path ways in my brain lining up a certain way.

It’s me reacting to unseen stimuli.

A partner who understands this doesn’t take it personally when I cancel romantic dates last minutes because “mental health”. Or when I drink too much and try to fight their friend who keeps hugging me because he’s “too friendly” and is “ruining my vibe”.

Sorry about that.

But yeah. The key to a lasting relationship is understanding.

Taking the ego out of the equation and looking deeper at the root cause of my sometimes-painful-but-mostly-weird behaviour.

People who do that for each other are magic. And if a person is willing to do support their mental-illness-bearing partner, to look deeper and understand the mechanics – then they get to be the most magical thing of all.

They might get the chance to be a reason for someone’s recovery.

+++++

[shirt]

Friday Night

reversethebipolarities_oqhia1Leave a comment

There’s something to be said for making plans about nothing.

I mean, to do nothing major.

To spend time for the sake of spending time. Without agenda or outcome.

Is it weird to spend Friday night at home, making food for yourself and then eating it yourself?

No.

Do people try to call you out on it? Or poke fun at you for being antisocial or boring?

Yes.

And they can get fucked.

With bipolar, a nothing night is helpful. It gives me the chance to operate free of goals – to do things just for me.

The actions and the outcome are the same. There are no disappointments. No goals to reach. The pressure is off and I can see which parts of my feels are appropriate to my circumstances and which ones are coming from being hyper or down.

It’s like a mini diagnosis or therapy session for myself. But all it costs is a bowl of pasta and a Netflix subscription.

I want to come off my meds to try alternative therapies but im worried about being affected by the stress from college and work. I don’t want to put my life on hold to do it tho. Any suggestions?

reversethebipolarities_oqhia1Leave a comment

Hi
msbrooks108!

Okay, it’s caveat time!

  • Not a doctor
  • Not a therapist
  • Not certified to deliver actionable advice
  • Suggestions only
    based on experience

And now the good stuff.

It’s all about quality of life.

Being bipolar means that you have a condition that directly affects your quality of life. While it’s a chronic disease that you have to manage for the rest of your life, in this aspect it is no different from any other medical condition.

It you have a broken leg, there’s the pain you have to deal with while it’s healing.
Which sucks, sure.

You also can’t do stuff you want to do. Like, uh, playing basketball? Getting up to make a sandwich? Which also sucks.

With your bipolar experience, it’s similar. You may not be able to play basketball, which sucks. And getting up to make a sandwich can be tough. And also, because of the bipolar experience, you may experience pain. Existential, but still real.

Both of these elements – the inability to do things and the pain – impact on your quality of life.

Now, let’s focus on the point of medication.

It exists to help improve your quality of life. To help you manage the pain, and enable a more normal existence, whatever that means for you.

So, why might you want to cease medication?

It might be expensive. It might cause complications, unwanted side effects. There might be a social or cultural taboo associated with the type of medication. Or you might be uncomfortable with the thought of ingesting “chemicals”.

For me, none of these reasons are invalid. They all make sense. But alone, they are not enough to make a decision to quit medication. Especially with chronic illnesses.

So let’s look at context.

You’re studying – which takes time and effort and costs money, but delivers “education” and “opportunities” and maybe “friends”.

You’re working –  which takes up time and energy, but delivers benefits like “experience” and “money”

.

You want to cease taking medication – what are the reasons for this want?

You want to try alternative therapies – what health/time/financial changes do you get from these therapies?

Then you have the wider impact.

Okay msbrooks108, here are the tougher questions. Some you can’t answer, because you don’t know the answers. And that’s important, because you have to measure how much “I don’t know” matters in your day to day.

So,
msbrooks108,

how will going off meds change your ability to work? How will it shape your approach to education? Are you in a place where you can slow down the volume of work/study in your life and focus on managing on your mental health? If it comes down to it, how do you feel about quitting your job, or cancelling your education? And how do the benefits of your preferred alternative therapies weigh up against these decisions, and their impacts?

For more context, check out this post where I answered a similar question.

Now, it’s important to note here that I’m not pro-medication or anti-medication.

I’m 100% pro-you.

I’m throwing these tough questions at you because it’s easy easy to give in to personal bias. To shape facts to get what you want. To ignore lines of inquiry because they might give you points of view you don’t want to have to consider.

Whatever you do, remember the following:

  • there are no do-overs, you’re alive here and now
  • everything is recoverable, the pendulum swings both ways
  • keep both eyes on your end goal which is having a good life.

And please, let me know what you decide and how you reached your decision!