“You’re a what?”
“I don’t believe you.”
“Not you. No way!”
But it’s true. I have a sensitive physiology that experiences stimulus at a heightened rate when compared to them normal people (whatever normal is).
So I often pick reading alone over partying. I choose writing with my headphones on over drinks with mates (sorry mates).Or a documentary or sketch session over beer-pong and battleshots. It has happened.
It’s just hard to believe. Because I’m also bipolar. And the high times? They give me the courage and confidence to be the kind of person who starts the party. To get excited and make things happen. Not always intelligent things, granted, but at the time it beats standing still.
The high times helped me work manically in high-pressure environments. Without the high times, I would have struggled way more than I did.
The high times have made it easy to say yes to knew experiences. To go to new places, experience new things.
Without the high times I would have stared at my shoes instead of smiling at the cutie in the cafe that one time.
But it comes at a cost, and that cost is exhaustion. I can’t always keep up with the high times. And I need to be okay with that.
It’s time to acknowledge my introvert tendencies for what they are. Not as a weakness or a handicap, but as a physical predisposition, same as being bipolar.