I get up late in the afternoon.
Put clothing on my body. Put food in my face.
Log on to do work type things. Press buttons. Click images. Drag things from one folder to another.
Get up. Pee. Sit back down.
More buttons.
Food in face.
Headphones. Coffee.
Ah, what was that? Did I hear a heartbeat? Did something stir? An echo of how I used to be?
I know this feeling. I call it “flatlining”.
It’s the part of a depressive phase. It’s the bit where I’m not unhappy. But I’m not content. Everything just is.
And it’s dangerous.
My
brain wonder how long I have to put up with this mode of existence. How
many days of getting up, clothing and feeding myself simply because I
”should”? How many weeks of pressing buttons and getting up to pee? How
many months of crushing monotony where nothing stirs my soul?
I
can see the danger. I have been through this before. Chances are, if
you’re reading this, then you have too. You know why it’s dangerous.
So, how can you beat the flatline?
There
are three things I know help me get to grips with it. Not banish it.
There’s no cure that causes me to suddenly perk up and just be better.
Here they are.
Caffeine.
Drink coffee. Or tea. Nothing too sugary – that causes too big a high
and low – but with enough stuff just to elevate your metabolism. It’s
not the same as true excitement. But it does help lift the fog. A
little. Enough so that I feel like I have a grip on my choices.
Exercise.
Walking seems pointless, and lifting weights feels like a zero-sum
game. But the stress it puts on your body stimulates the metabolism
further, keeping things ticking over. I feel like this stops my body
from entering a state of sludge.
Sleep. When I hit the point
where I can not do things, sleep is great. It helps restore brain
function by removing cellular toxins generated by daily activities. It literally flushes the shitty bits out of your brain.
What is your favourite way of recovering from flatline?
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[shirt]