So, your partner has Bipolar?
Welcome to a pretty exclusive club. Here are the rules.
Okay, not rules.
Guidelines.
Suggestions.
They’re
not complete. Everyone has their own stuff. And yeah, they don’t just
apply to bipolaroids. You can use them with other people as well.
This is not a trade. There are no guarantees. Providing
your bipolar partner with love and attention does not mean you will
contractually receive happy, lovey, flirty interactions. This is a relationship – and you are not owed anything. Hell,
if that’s you’re view of relationships, then I pity you. Instead, try
focusing on the joy you find in the loving acts you provide, and give
what you can because you want to.
Your presence is not always the beacon of light and joy you want it to be. Sometimes stuff just sucks. And guess what, buddy? You’re stuff. And your stuff-ness is out of your control. It’s not you . It’s just that you’re part of the space-time continuum.
You are not a mind reader. Please don’t expect yourself to be one. Bipolaroids often find it hard to communicate. Up, down, recovering – it doesn’t matter. Sometimes we struggle. Don’t view our inability to interact as a personal attack. Instead,
think of it more like a bad Skype connection. The picture is there, and
we want to talk. It’s just that the data gets garbled.
You will not have the right answers. When a bipolaroid is up or down, our reality is light years away from yours. Offering advice to your bipolar partner feels like you are pointing out this gap. It
doesn’t matter what the advice is about – we feel angry, sad,
embarrassed or frustrated at this sudden sense of distance. One way
forward is to ask yourself what the best possible outcome is likely to
be from your interaction. If the outcome is positive – and the inclusion
of shouting and/or tears doesn’t diminish the result – then by all
means suggest away.
Being bipolar takes from us constantly. It demands time, patience, energy. In some cases, medical attention and time in bed. We are sorry for being so demanding. We hate it as much as you do. But we appreciate everything you give, when we can appreciate things. Picture this – you are enough for someone who frequently experiences highs that can topple mountains. You are awesome!
And finally, we can’t meet your expectations. They’re
in your head. That’s inaccessible to anyone short of a psychotherapist.
And besides, our heads don’t have space for them. They’re too full dealing with our own reality. Which you are a major part of. Instead, just get rid of them, and enjoy the fact that we want you on board with us. And we’ll do the same for you.
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