2/2
I’m always screaming at people when I don’t want too, people think I’m
rude but I really can’t help it. I cry for no reasons, I’m tired all the
time, I’ve thought of killing myself… I’m tired of being like this,
soon I’ll go to a therapist and hopefully fix myself, because I can’t
keep on living like this. This week I’ve seriously considered jumping to
the train rails.
Hi anon,
It sounds like you’re doing it rough, and I congratulate you on taking positive action in response.
First, the caveats:
- I’m no doctor and have no training
- I do want what’s best for you
- This is all just opinion backed by experience
- I’m not a substitute for what you should do
- Professional help always trumps what I say
It’s true that strong or heavy feels do characterise bipolarity. The feels we get can be overwhelming and compel us to act. And not acting on them feels like hell because what else are you meant to do with them?
It’s also true that some flavours of bipolarity (such as cyclothymia) do express themselves with fast, intense cycles.
These sensations can stem from a range of mental illnesses – not just bipolar. They can also come from chemical imbalances, thyroid conditions, medications and dietary issues.
If your condition is serious enough to give you suicidal ideation, then it is 100% time to start the process of diagnosis.
You’re right to be cautious of self-diagnosis, as that can lead you to take actions athat don’t bring you closer to an increase in the quality of life.
After all, that’s what we want here, right? To feel better?
So please,take this as a sign from a human who is concerned for your wellbeing – book an appointment with a healthcare professional, and start mapping out what is going on so you can start managing it. You’re the only one who can do this. and you deserve the chance to thrive. So make it happen!
And this goes for anyone else reading this response – you do not have to wait until you are “sick enough” to reach out.
The worst that happens is that you find out that you are going to be okay.